Be Gentle with Yourself

Sociology 101 tells us that as a species, humans have a strong need to belong. Most of us grew up thinking the way to live a happy and successful life was by emulating those around us. We adapted quickly to societal norms and standards, measuring ourselves in comparison to others. Compounded by the confusing philosophy in U.S. of radical individualism, we were supposed to let the ego guide us and forget about the collective.

Looking back at those competing models, I think the current, more nuanced paradigm of what we seek is connection, to be seen and appreciated for who we truly are, and to be in service to others in a way that fulfills us. There’s no room for our unique essences in the first paradigm. Only rules and expectations that squelch our creativity and joy.

Being raised in the first paradigm, it takes some time to deprogram ourselves from that cold rigid structure and shift into the freedom, connection, and joy of the second one. At times it feels like we take one step forward and two steps back. I encourage you not to lose faith or feel hopeless! It’s all part of the dance! Moving like a wave pattern in and out of alignment is how we propel ourselves up through the spiral of our experience. We will keep facing the things we need to heal within us, bringing new energy and information learned the last time around. Through a growing awareness, we tweak our responses and take note of how we have grown as well as what we can continue to improve upon. We change how we feel until what we feel changes our external experience. Our programming tends to direct our focus to what we did wrong, instead of celebrating the little victories along the way.

So be gentle with yourself through this process. There is no destination point. It’s an ever expanding spiral of experience, and there will always be room to grow.